"I'm all for the human race"
by
This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
August/September 2000
Imagine this.
An elected politician saunters slowly up to the microphone. He squints as
light bulbs flash in the background. The room is abuzz with idle chatter,
which tapers off as he takes a swig of water and clears his sizable throat.
“Ladies and gentlemen” he begins, “Entrepreneurs, civic leaders, members of
the press; I’m glad you could all make it today.” He pauses to survey the
crowd and, satisfied that they’re drinking this all up, he clears his throat
again and continues:
“Democracy, George Bernard Shaw once observed, is based upon the belief that
voters know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard….
“I certainly hope he was right because, after much cajoling by supporters, I
have decided to run for the Presidency of the United States of America.”
The audience erupts in cheer. One hundred people get on their cellular
phones at the same time. The bulbs flash at an even more furious pace than
before. For one whole minute, the place is a genuine zoo. It calms down
and he continues his speech.
When it’s over, he opens himself up for questions from the audience. A
reporter in the front row asks what his position is on race.
“I don’t go to the racetrack” he replies.
Everybody laughs and he points at a lady at a nearby table. “What is your
position on affirmative action?” she asks.
“I don’t think it’s very affirmative,” he replies.
Cheers and hoots go through the crowd. He pointedly picks non-reporters for
the next three questions, but on man number four, he misses the notebook
concealed under her plate.
Says a twentysomething blonde, “With all due respect, Governor, I think
you’re dodging the tough questions. What is your position on race issues?”
“Oh, you mean the human race,” he replies, “I’m all for it. Next question!”
She shouts back, undeterred, “How would your policies benefit African
Americans!?”
“How would my policies benefit black Americans, Miss Myers? I’m not sure I
like the blatantly racist assumptions behind that question. I don’t like
this trend which treats our differences as the only things that matter. My
policies would affect black Americans the same way they would affect white
Americans or brown Americans or red Americans or yellow Americans or, for
that matter, blue Americans.”
“But what about racism and discrimination?” she shoots back, “what would
your policies do to insure that African-Americans aren’t discriminated
against.”
“Well, first, I would treat everybody as human beings, which is more than
you are willing to concede to me at this moment. Second, I would never
-- NEVER -- use the term African American. It’s degrading. My Irish ancestors
came here and were given the title Irish American as a way of mocking them
and watering down their citizenship. Third, I would cease to use the term
race. PERIOD. If I had to use a substitute for race it would be the
lumbering “pigmentation of skin”, the difficulty of pronouncing which would
go a long way toward obliterating the concept of race. Fourth, I wouldn’t
kid people. Life is unfair sometimes and government usually only makes it
worse. Fifth, and last, I would tell all Americans that here you are free.
To toil and sweat and, sometimes, to fail. But, here, you can truly
succeed. It’s all up to you. Make the most of it.”
He would then refuse to ever address the issue of race again.
This is a candidate I could vote for.
This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
is Senior Editor of SpinTech Magazine.
Copyright © 1999 Jeremy Lott. All rights reserved.
 Add as favourites (17) |  Quote this article on your site | Views: 1009
Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment Tweaked Special Edition v.1.4.6
AkoComment © Copyright 2004 by Arthur Konze - www.mamboportal.com
All right reserved |
Be first to comment this article
