First monthly newsletter from Mixed Media Watch

Jen Chau <jenchau@swirlinc.org>
Tue 10/19/2004 2:02 PM

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Welcome to Mixed Media Watch’s first monthly newsletter!

What is Mixed Media Watch? MMW is a collaborative weblog and grassroots coalition that works to promote more realistic, three-dimensional portrayals of mixed people, couples, families and transracial adoptees in film, television, radio and print media.

Around the 15th of each month, Carmen and Jen will fill you in on the previous month’s opinion pieces, action items, and top 10 news stories that made it onto our MMW radar. This is our way of keeping you updated on the stories relevant to our growing mixed community!

You can get involved with MMW through any or all of the following ways:

1) Read MMW every day at http://www.mixedmediawatch.com! We update the site constantly as we hear about relevant news items.

2) Become a guest contributor to MMW! See a story of interest that we haven’t covered? Write it up as a post, using our MMW format, and email it to us at mixedmediawatch@newdemographic.com. If we think it’s
newsworthy and relevant, we’ll post it and attribute it to you. The more “watchers” out there, the better!

3) Help us write letters! Every once in awhile we see something that demands our attention and we create a letter-writing campaign. We’ll alert you via email of these action items and we hope that you’ll speak out too. Your voice will help to make a difference.

4) Forward this email to a friend! Help us spread the word about Mixed Media Watch by forwarding this email to a friend and encouraging them to check out the site.

Take care,

Jen and Carmen

MIXED MEDIA WATCH
tracking representations of mixed people in the media
www.mixedmediawatch.com

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OPINION PIECES
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1) Rant: Mixed people are not ice cream flavors!!!
2) Retirement Notice: An Open Letter for Parents Discussing Multiethnic
Kids and Families

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ACTION ITEMS
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1) Letter to the Editor: Mixed race children need open and truthful
dialogue, not empty affirmations.

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NEWS ITEMS
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1) Two mixed race organizations say no to Ward’s proposed multiracial category
2) The College Board Is Having a Hard Time With Answers To “The Race Question”
3)  NOOOOO! Some re-makes just shouldn’t happen!
4) SwirlNYC launches new advocacy initiatives to increase voter
participation in communities of color in the New York City area
5)  How to Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men
6)  The unlikely love story of Ms. Nielsen and “Mr. F”
7)  Denmark hostile to interracial couples
8)  Lenny thinks that the criticism he receives is based on race
9) She’s ba-ack! Biracial character returns on The Boondocks
10) Paris Hilton drops the N-bomb

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OPINION PIECES
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1) RANT: MIXED PEOPLE ARE NOT ICE CREAM FLAVORS!!!
CVK
September 21, 2004
Metrowest Daily News writes about Carolyn Wynn, a white mom with biracial kids who’s trying to shop around a children’s book about a multiracial family. Wynn wrote the book in 1999 and in the 5 years since then has been rejected by publisher after publisher.

Wynn blames this string of rejections on the publishing companies being narrow-minded, but read this tidbit and let’s see what you think:

“In her book, she says her family looks different from other families, but that’s what makes them special. She describes her husband’s skin as the chocolate of a milk chocolate candy bar and her skin as creamy vanilla ice cream. Darren is her handsome brown boy and Kirsten is her little tan beauty.”

If I was a publisher I’d reject this crap too! Why is it that when it
comes to writing about mixed kids, people just can’t get past the ice cream flavor comparisons? The children’s father is also a flavored dairy enthusiast:

“To explain how Darren and Kirsten got the hues they have, Neil would tell them, “You got the milk, the Hershey’s syrup, mix it together and you have chocolate milk.””

Yes, it’s important that parents make sure their kids feel good about their mixed race identity. But these trite ice cream metaphors teach children nothing about how to handle the racism and prejudice that they will inevitably encounter. Here’s what Neil Wynn tells his kids about prejudice:

“I tell them they can’t be overly sensitive. There will always be people who won’t like them no matter what. I tell them not to worry about that. I tell Darren he’s the best boy on the planet and Kirsten she’s the best girl on the planet.”

Yeah don’t worry about it, Darren and Kirsten. When someone calls you a “nigger” or a “zebra” or an “Oreo,” just respond by telling them you’re chocolate milk. That’ll teach those bullies!

2) RETIREMENT NOTICE: AN OPEN LETTER FOR PARENTS DISCUSSING MULTIETHNIC KIDS AND FAMILIES SLJ September 24, 2004 In light of the recent books out there about raising multiethnic kids, and reflecting on my own upbringing in the 1970s and 1980s as a “biracial” child, I offer the following:

Dear Parents:

Perhaps you are part of a multiethnic family, are raising a mixed child, or are monoethnic and teaching your children about ethnic diversity. No matter where you live, your children are going to recognize and experience diversity of all kinds, ethnic and otherwise. In the interests of moving forward, I ask that the following phrases and concepts be officially RETIRED:

BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
Very often, mixed children are told that they are the “best of both
worlds.” Which begs the question, which “worlds” are we talking about? Mars and Pluto? It may have seemed in the not-so-distant past that a parent raised in Taiwan and a parent raised in Brooklyn, NY must come from different “worlds.” But in truth, similarities as well as differences bring people together. The phrase implies that the parents’ “worlds” are naturally separate and inviolate, and that some kind of cosmic collision caused the birth of the child. We have only one world, and it’s feeling smaller every day.

Of course, every parent thinks of their child as the best one out there. But we often tell our mixed kids that they are rare, unique, uncommon, and therefore the “best.” Please know that it may not be as reassuring as parents intend. For me, the phrase simultaneously promoted a sense of isolation AND superiority, two attitudes mixed children cannot afford to have. Instead, let’s focus on heritage, honest history, and similarities.

DADDY IS CHOCOLATE AND MOMMY IS VANILLA…
Between DQ’s recent MooLatte beverage, and chocolate milk and ice cream analogies, I’ve become Lactose-Intolerant. This phrase is usually used for children who are of European and African descent. In the literal mind of the very young mixed child, food analogies are confusing. For an older child able to understand that physical traits are inherited from both sides of the family, the analogy teaches them very little. Generally there are two versions of this, usually demonstrated at snack time. In the first demo, one parent is chocolate ice cream, and the other is vanilla ice cream, and the child is a spoonful of both. The resulting taste is usually that of a milder chocolate ice cream. Please think about that for a minute.  The second demo involves pouring chocolate syrup into plain milk, resulting in chocolate milk.

Both ideas promote the idea of one-droppism. If there is some chocolate in the mix, the taste is usually chocolate: the more syrup, the darker the milk. Not only does this analogy not help Hispanic, Asian, or Native American heritage at all, it doesn’t really explain skin color genetics for ANY family. It also doesn’t stop a mixed child of a medium complexion from assuming his darker-toned sister has more “chocolate” heritage than he does. It may help instead to find a color spectrum showing ALL skin tones present in people, to show that human skin color is not about white and black, but merely shades of brown.

DIFFERENCES DON’T MATTER! PEOPLE MATTER!
And people with differences…. what? We have to ask ourselves what we mean when we say this to kids. The phrase is usually trotted out when a child makes an observation about a peer, be it skin color, hair texture, disability, eating habits, etc. The phase also tends to shut down communication, and tell the child that observing differences is WRONG. Some kids may even make the leap that the difference is what’s wrong. Others may notice how uncomfortable their parents get and feel uncomfortable too.

Kids are not born skin color-blind. They are color-neutral. They will
notice a difference in another person, but they won’t attribute a
negative or positive connotation until their parents or peers do.
Pretending that a difference doesn’t exist, or that it won’t factor in a child’s life, is naïve. However, demonstrating to a kid that differences don’t have to define who you are is important, both to accepting their own individuality, and to seeing that individuality and uniqueness in other people.

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ACTION ITEMS
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1) LETTER TO THE EDITOR: MIXED RACE CHILDREN NEED OPEN AND TRUTHFUL DIALOGUE, NOT EMPTY AFFIRMATIONS. CVK & JC September 22, 2004

Dear Editor,

As mixed race women ourselves, it disappointed us to read about the Wynns’ approach to parenting their biracial children (“Seeing life through different colors: Teacher hopes book will help children
understand multiracial families” by Liz Mineo, September 18, 2004).

The Wynns seem to be in a state of blissful denial. Instead of talking to their children honestly about racism and prejudice, the Wynns tell them “not to worry about that” and pump them full of strange self-affirmation: “I tell Darren he’s the best boy on the planet and Kirsten she’s the best girl on the planet.”

It’s natural for parents to want to shield and protect their children,
but that type of feel-good reassurance does nothing to equip children to deal with the realities of this world. As activists in the mixed community, we see this type of approach used by parents all the time. Brushing issues under the rug, or smoothing over painful experiences by pulling out the trite ice cream metaphors is only going to result in years of built-up questions. Without a real forum to talk about their experiences, children–any children–will withdraw, become angry, and remain confused about their original questions.

Many mixed adults who were born in the 70s or earlier may have
experienced this type of rearing. Without resources and a language to discuss these issues, parents did not necessarily know how to approach the situations that arose around mixed identity. Today, there is no excuse. With hundreds of resources at our fingertips (e.g. books, films, community organizations, websites), parents have more than enough support in raising their children responsibly. To be responsible is to listen to the concerns of your children and to address them realistically.

We are nervous for Wynn’s son specifically because he seems to have absorbed the simplistic and irrelevant messages his parents have fed him. We can only imagine what will happen the next time a bully picks on Darren. Maybe he will get pushed. Maybe he will be called an “Oreo”. Somehow, we don’t think a retort of “but my family is the best in the world” is going to help him in these kinds of situations.

It’s time to take the rose-colored glasses off, put the chocolate milk away, and teach our children what they really need to know about living in this (still) racist world.

Sincerely,

Jen Chau
Carmen Van Kerckhove

Mixed Media Watch
www.mixedmediawatch.com

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NEWS ITEMS
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1) TWO MIXED RACE ORGANIZATIONS SAY NO TO WARD’S PROPOSED MULTIRACIAL CATEGORY JC, September 03, 2004

The Mavin Foundation and Hapa Issues Forum released a statement that opposes University of California Regent Ward Connerly’s proposed category. He wants to add a multiracial/multiethnic option to UC undergraduate admissions
applications.

2) THE COLLEGE BOARD IS HAVING A HARD TIME WITH ANSWERS TO “THE RACE QUESTION” JC, September 07, 2004

The Mercury News reports on the phenomenon of more and more California high school students “ducking” the race question on their SAT forms by checking “Other” or not answering at all. But it isn’t fair to consider checking “other” ducking the question when it is the only reasonable choice for many!

3) NOOOOO! SOME RE-MAKES JUST SHOULDN’T HAPPEN.
JC, September 07, 2004

Word has it that the classic, *award-winning* Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner will be remade, this time with the roles reversed and a white boy in the hot seat. In The Dinner Party, Ashton Kutcher is going to be playing the Sidney Poitier role and Bernie Mac will be filling Spencer Tracy’s shoes. Why????

4) SWIRLNYC LAUNCHES NEW ADVOCACY INITIATIVES TO INCREASE VOTER PARTICIPATION IN COMMUNITIES OF COLOR IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA JC, September 09, 2004

Recognizing the need to break down the institutional
barriers that prevent many Americans in communities of color from becoming politically engaged and active, this election season, SwirlNYC, the New York City chapter of Swirl, Inc., is launching an array of new initiatives to increase voter participation and encourage civic engagement in communities of color across the country.

5) HOW TO DATE A WHITE WOMAN: A PRACTICAL GUIDE FOR ASIAN MEN CVK, September 16, 2004

No one seems to know whether this book is a joke or what, but it sure is hilarious. Check out the tongue-in-cheek Amazon reviews too, here’s my favorite: “I learned from this book that the white woman, is the most prized possesion of minority men, and that all other women are not only useless, but just inferior to the white woman. And I also learned that the quote “that once you go white, you know it’s all right.” Isn’t only the mantra of this book, but that is also rhymes.”

6) THE UNLIKELY LOVE STORY OF MS. NIELSEN AND “MR. F”
CVK, September 20, 2004

Fans of bad reality TV (like me) have been glued to the latest season of VH1’s “The Surreal Life” because it features probably the unlikeliest couple since Miss Piggy and Kermit: Brigitte Nielsen and Flavor Flav. Yes, that Brigitte Nielsen, the one from the 80s who was briefly married to Sylvester Stallone and played the Russian boxer’s wife in “Rocky IV.” And yes, that Flavor Flav, the big clock-wearing, gold-toothed member of legendary rap group Public Enemy and self-proclaimed “best hype man in the business.”

7) DENMARK HOSTILE TO INTERRACIAL COUPLES
CVK, September 21, 2004

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that interracial couples are facing increasing hostility in Denmark. Harsh immigration laws there are often forcing spouses to live in a neighboring country, so that couples must commute to see each other.

8) LENNY THINKS THAT THE CRITICISM HE RECEIVES IS BASED ON RACE JC, September 22, 2004

MSNBC talks with Lenny Kravitz about getting over depression and dealing with “his issues.” Lenny gets heated when it comes to his critics. He assumes he wouldn’t receive the same treatment if he was a white man. Ever since he made his debut with the album “Let Love Rule” in 1989, Kravitz has been labeled a recycler — someone who borrows the styles of others. The subject brings out a rare display of emotion from the typically low-key musician. “If I was white, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation about these critics. I’d be sliced bread. But that’s O.K. And I am half-white,” he jokes about his biracial heritage.

9) SHE’S BA-ACK! BIRACIAL CHARACTER RETURNS ON THE BOONDOCKS CVK, September 29, 2004

Jazmine–the biracial character on Aaron McGruder’s nationally syndicated comic strip The Boondocks–made a return this week after a 2-year absence. Jazmine has always been a subject of hot debate among mixed people. The comic strip’s protagonist, Huey, regularly tells Jazmine that she is “just Black” and that she needs to get over the idea of being biracial. Do these declarations reflect McGruder’s own hostility towards mixed race identity? Or is McGruder using Huey and Jazmine to reflect how some people in the Black community feel about those who self-identify as mixed?

10) PARIS HILTON DROPS THE N-BOMB
CVK, September 30, 2004

Oh no she didn’t! Everybody’s favorite celebu-skank Paris Hilton dropped the N-bomb and on tape, no less. From New York Daily News: “In a recently surfaced 12-hour videotape, Hilton is shown in a rather disturbing scene with two African-American men who ask her if she would model their fashion line. Hilton, standing with pal Brandon Davis, is polite to the men, but calls them “dumb n—s” after they leave, according to British reporter Carole Aye Maung, who reviewed the tape.”