What’s Up With Dark Men?
By David Yeagley
FrontPageMagazine.com
February 26, 2002
WHITE WOMEN ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, desirable creatures on earth, judging from the way dark men crave them.
A black man loves white women, said Eldridge Cleaver, in Soul On Ice (1968) “Ain’t nothing more beautiful than a white woman’s hair being blown in the wind.”
But a black woman’s hair doesn’t blow in the wind. She only wishes it would.
Black scholar Noliwe Rooks, in Hair Raising (1996), says ever since black women were brought to America, they’ve been trying to look “white.” They try to change their appearance through skin whiteners, hair straighteners, and even bright blond hair dyes.
I don’t think black women should be shock by this ,because this entire world Dark woman,Light woman,Dark men,hispanic,jew,European ect. are all locked into this notion that white skinned equals beauty,softness and love. I think that a time will come in this world when so many people desire and marry light,white skin that dark skin will be seen as original and unique.I’m always shock by how pissed off some black woman get when they see white woman with black men.I think that type of attiude is stupid and racist,what are you saying to the white woman?she is better than you? cause she’s white? Black woman need to start dating like European women, they marry and date all races.Some African American men are the most “Racist” men in the world they date woman ONLY because of skin color,and that is “Very Racist” Yet these same men cry out loud when they get nasty looks and bad attitude from both whites and blacks. On the other hand some black woman are also racist for refusing to date other races.They need to stop buying into the myth that because their hair isn’t bone straight and blond or they are not light/white skinned they are ugly.Their looks is what make them unique their African heritage doesn’t see beauty on the outside that is a European notion.They need to stay true to their roots.Not saying don’t go to the beauty salon or nail salon or have facials,but remember who you are as a woman of African heritage love being her and no one else.
I am a black man and i dont crave white woman. i dont understand how people can make such
broad statements that suggest otherwise.
when i see comments like the ones stated
it leds me to belive someone is trying to
sell me somthing
8/6/2005 5:31:14 PM
I think the whole issue is funny. Generally it is Black women who have blogged the hell out of this issue. And generally it is Black women doing most of the cursing and yelling about it.
A comment about reality. Quite frankly there are fewer educated Black males because more of them are going to prison. That is unfair but it is reality. The lkaws are designed for that to happen, which is why 70% of the inmates come from25% of the population. That is a fact and it is deliberate.
The other problem are the females who are content to have children out of wedlock and not make the man take responsibility. Many of these men came from single parent families. But continuing to subscribe to the thug life mentality just feeds this.
Society has divided the Black family. And Blacks, women and men, have allowed it to happen. Educated or not I have experienced many situations where Black women workers did not want to work for a Black male. To be honest Black males have done the same thing. In many instances these people didn’t think the Black male was “worthy” of the top job, and caused problems for the male making hikin
making him appear not as adept as his White counterparts.
Sabotage.
8/28/2005 8:11:45 PM
The reality of the matter is it is not acceptable. Quite frankly when Whoopi Goldberg and Maya Angelou date and marry White men, no one says a thing about it, i.e., Black women are silent. Many actually say “right on!”
“Get that money girl.” Black males are scrutinized in every
facet of life. That is the reality. It’s not fair. But it’s
life.
White’s in business have been much quicker to promote Black
females. it solves the racial mix problem and it means that
they don’t have to look across the table at Black men.
Why not look at a fine Black woman instead? And with that some
Black women think that they are better than their brothers.
But a Black man’s struggle is still his struggle. Shared by
no one else. What we need to do is stop letting these people
divide and conquer.
8/28/2005 8:18:19 PM
“Black males are scrutinized in everyfacet of life. That is the reality. It’s not fair. But it’s
life.”
You’re both correct and incorrect in this statement Michael. Yes, black males are scrutinized in every facet of life and no it’s not fair. However so are black women. To widen the scope further, ALL men and ALL women are scrutinized in every facet of life. Sometimes it’s fair (as in sizing up whether or not this person is one you want to mate with based on education, intelligence or even work ethic) and sometimes it’s not fair (as in making unfair assumptions based solely on the physical).
“Some African American men are the most “Racist†men in the world they date woman ONLY because of skin color,and that is “Very Racist†Yet these same men cry out loud when they get nasty looks and bad attitude from both whites and blacks.”
I agree with everything Mondez said but especially this sentiment. My brother, though we’re of mixed race he sees himself I think as black only, does this exact thing. My best friend is a black woman dating a white man and my brother made snide comments about that yet all he himself dates are white women. What a hypocrite, right? Of course when I pointed this out to him, I was accused of being racist. Great, I’ve been transported to bizarro world.
8/31/2005 1:14:01 AM
It’s interesting to me what Aspasia said about the whole Blackwmen Whiteo man thing. When the guy that had been dating White
women his whole life made snide comments about it, like dark
skin Black women or Black women in general are suppose to sit
around waiting for Black men to show them some attention when
they can get love of another source. Black men through history
have always craved very other race and only light skin was with-
in their own, and get mad when the dark skin sistas goes where
she is appreciated for her beauty which is too the White man. I
think that in society as a whole we knew to stop believing
what the media says is beautiful, which is long blond hair, blue
eyes, and stick skinny bodies or anything that’s close to that.
Those looks can be beautiful of course but it’s not the only
kind of beauty. I’ve seen women who were dark as night, that were
gorgeous and they didn’t have a perm either. There is so many
different types of beauty in the world but most of it which we
fail to see comes from within.
9/1/2005 21:55
sorry for the typos, I type pretty fast lol
9/1/2005 21:56
Thier are many beautiful black women. But you do not really get to see them.Just think when you turn on the tv if you see a black woman she is more then likly light skinned. I’m a very light skinned sister and I do have long hair with blond hair and blue eyes. That is very rare I known. But it’s true. I get tired of sister thinking that I think I’m better then them when that is not true at all. Why can’t a dark skinned sister with short hair think that? If you do your reseach you will see that back in the day all men wanted a black lady. Like Cleopatra was very dark skinned and all these guys wanting her, but they don’t tell people this.
I’m half-white but when someone ask me what I am I say I’m black. So don’t let the blue eyes and blond hair fool you. I known for a fact that deep down white women want to look like black women. They want the lips, hair, color to skin skin. You can tell I see things on tv saying buy this and you’ll get 33% bigger lips, then they sell things to tan your skin, then they say buy this for thicker hair. Open your eyes. I’m not saying that white women are not looking, but we just need to see that black women our just as good looking as white women.
I have one more thing to say about this racist thing black people can not be racist. Now before you start saying things just listen out here, you see to be racist one must have power and black people do not have power at all. White have the power over this country. If you don’t belive me look it up.
Most of you made very good points, but I have to say a few words to Jasmine. Dear, if you really are a blond blue-eyed black girl which I find difficult to believe, it’s your “white” blood that helped you look that way. So before you put down white women, consider that…
You say “I know for a fact that deep down white women want to look like black women…they want the lips, the hair, etc.” Reality check. Maybe this is true for people with identity problems, but you know what? Majority of white women DON’T want to be black. That isn’t a prejudiced or racist comment, it is the truth. White women have a different type of beauty from that of black women. Not better, simply very different.
I’m white & I’m perfectly happy with my hair, body shape, & skin color . I know that some white girls copy certain Afrocentric hairstyles like cornrows & dreadlocks & twists, but I doubt that most white women would actually desire to have all the features (especially the hair) of a Black woman. Black women have their own ways of being beautiful, and so do we as White women. If anything, I’d say that Black women very often attempt to emulate White women’s features…not because they hate themselves or being Black, but because society deems white or not-very-dark women more attractive. I’ve seen Black girls wear these long silky weaves & lighten their hair to blond. Some of them bleach their skin & wear blue, hazel, and light brown contacts. Isn’t that wanting to be White or at least take on some physical traits of a White woman?
My 6-year-old daughter happens to be mixed, too. She has these round, pool-blue eyes, snowy skin, & silky-straight brown hair. Her features are very delicate. Most mixed children, however light they might be, still have some discernible Black traits about them. Heather doesn’t because I’m White and her father happens to be a highly mixed person with very light coloring. Black genes are often dominant when it comes to offspring between a male & female of different racial background. I’m not putting you down but perhaps you should really think about this. Furthermore, blacks can be every bit as racist & bigoted as whites. The only difference is that white-on-black racism is more widely talked about & covered in the media. You speak as one who has authority and all the “facts” on these subjects but you’re misinformed about many, many things. All races of women have their own types of beauty & ANYONE can be racist, no matter what color.
Heidi,
If you doubt that there are black people with blonde hair and blue eyes, you obviously 1) haven’t asked a black person about this, 2) haven’t had truly in-depth dealings with people (sexually doesn’t count), or 2) you don’t deal with too many intelligent, well-informed black people. Seriously. The fact of the matter is that there are most DEFINITELY black people with blue eyes and blonde hair (not that these are anything to brag about). In fact, there are black people with RED hair. I have friends from high school and college who have these features NATURALLY. Your prejudice shows in your obvious consideration that these are “exalted” features and that “black people couldn’t have them naturally. This brings me to another point that I find disturbing, which is people who are interracial relationships, but possessing bias and prejudice against certain members of their partners ethnic/racial group. Just because you lay down with a black man and have his child, doesn’t mean you don’t have prejudices against/issues with black women.
Blacks come in literally every shade that any other racial/ethnic group comes in, with every shade of hair color, and eye color. This is not speculation, it’s fact. The beauty of the black race is that it is literally that diverse. Have you ever heard of the term “passing?” If you haven’t it meant a term to denote blacks that pretended, especially several years ago when discrimination was more blatant, to be white so that they could assimilate completely into white culture, and thereby obtain the “privileges” afforded to white people. In order for those people to pass and fool the white people, they obviously looked white and this included various manifestations of white features. If you knew anything about DNA, you’d know that a black person with blonde hair and blue eyes is very possible. Those features are recessive genes, which means that even if they don’t show up in the first generation, that trait is there and when paired with someone else with those genes, blonde hair and blue eyes can indeed emerge in an offspring.
As for hair, there are various reasons for black women changing their hair color. Those reasons are as varied and similar as white women. At the end of the day, we’re women and operate, to a degree, the same way. We change our hair because: we don’t like our natural hair, we’re bored with it, we want a more convenient hairstyle, the newest celebrity has it, etc. These are similar reasons for white women. Look at the many white celebrities who are not naturally blonde and blue-eyed, who change those features to make it so. Oh, and as for kinky hair, I can PROMISE you, I’ve seen some white women with some coarse and frizzy hair.
Personally, I’m sick of the prejudice/discrimination/bias on all parts:
Black women: 1) While there are black women who do love themselves and their features, myself being one of them, I am sick of black women who feel they have to buy into the lie that what is white is the ideal standard of beauty. God made all types of people and therefore, there are all types of beauty that is found in White, Asian, Black, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, etc. cultures. No single group has the monopoly on beauty or ugliness. Even within these groups there are diverse types of beauty; 2) I’m tired of black women clinging to this stupid, blind devotion to African American men. Hello, there’s an entire planet full of men, gorgeous, sexy, men who find Black women attractive. We have bought into the lie that only white women are desirable and haven’t stepped outside our cultural group, and especially country, to find that Moroccans, Egyptians, French, Indian, Asian, African, etc. who LOVE (not an exaggeration) black women and brown skin. I had this incredibly sexy Moroccan guy wanting to date me, but I’m in a relationship and I don’t cheat. A cute Asian guy followed me as I walked down the street and waited for me when I left the store, trying to talk to me. You have those that feel the same about White, Asian, Hispanic, etc., women. It’s all personal preference; 3) Stop sweating white women and black men couples. Just because he’s black doesn’t mean he’s compatible with you or that you have dibs on him; 4) Not all white women are your enemies and not all black women are your friends. Get to know some white females better; 5) Don’t trip about black men with white women and you’re with white men.
Black Men: 1) I’m so sick of black men using black women as their excuse for dating White women or other women. Stop being a coward! If you like white women, fine, but don’t blame every black woman. At the end of the day, you need to ask yourself, who was the common factor in each of those failed relationships: YOU! Examine yourself and check your issues. Maybe you were always going after a woman for how she looked on the outside and she was superficial within. So, you got burned. Hello! For the black women you call bitter, what men do you think she’s death with most of her life to screw her over? Most often, black men; 2) I’m tired of black men’s preoccupation with skin color. It’s actually very ignorant, no matter how well-educated you claim to be. I’ve had white female friends and light-skinned female friends who expressed disgust over Black men seeming to be interested in them because of their skin tone, rather than them as persons; 3) If you know you are a trifling man, definitely don’t blame black women for your wanting to date someone of a different culture. Look at Wesley Snipes. He says he won’t date black women and is with an Asian woman. I have no problem with him loving an Asian woman. But, don’t beat the Hell out of Halle Berry and leave her deaf in one ear and then call belittle black women; some of you have no business dealing with women, regardless of the woman’s race; 5) Stop being hypocrites. You can screw and date anything under the sun but have the AUDACITY to talk shit or have an issue when you see a black woman with someone else? Get over yourself! You don’t have first dibs on black women; 6) Stop hating on black women and being intimidated when you meet one who is educated and confident. Don’t mistake our confidence for arrogance, as there is a difference; 7) While it’s good that you think highly of yourself, not every black woman wants one of you and has an issue with you being with a non-black woman. 8) Stop calling us gold-diggers. If we really were, we’d be going to other races of men, such as the white, Asians, or Middle Easterners, as they are the ones who TRULY have some wealth. Also, we want the same thing white women want: security.
White Women: 1) Not every black woman is mad at you/cares that you’re with a black man. Sometimes we are looking, because we just looking at two people, not because we have an issue with you. There are some black women who do have an issue with it,, but not all, so get a grip. I personally look at couples all the time merely to see how they look physically (features, clothing, etc.), not because they’re an interracial couple, 2) Some black men are VERY unhealthy to be in relationships with. It has to do with character, not race. So don’t be so consumed with being with a black man that you overlook his character flaws, which leads me to the next point; 3) The black man you’re with is not an “expert” on black women just because he’s black. If anything, the black man may not even be an expert on who he is, let alone on who black women are. If he’s had over three failed relationships with black women, one would wonder at what point he (or you) would be cognizant of the common factor in those relationships: HIM. Maybe he went after some superficial female for superficial reasons and got treated…big surprise…superficially. His personal, unresolved issues might be more behind his “comments,” rather than facts. He may have issues with skin color, insecurities with black women, or a host of other factors. Please don’t tell me you (white woman) are that naïve to believe that black women are ALL or MOST of anything character-wise any more or less than women of other races. If you do, you’re believing what you want to believe, rather than anything with real merit. I’m not discounting the fact that there are some extremely trifling women out there, but that has more to do with the character of those women, rather than their race. I have some trifling white female friends who screw over good men, too; 4) Just because you are with black men does not mean you “know” or fully understand the dynamics of the black race. For example, the color of a person’s skin is still a HUGE issue among black people. While I do think that there are black men who do love the white women they are with, I think there are black men with white women because of the “allure” of having a child with light skin, issues with dark skin, or the belief that being with a white woman will elevate his status. The same dynamics can and do exist with other interracial couple types as well. The whole color-blind statement is BS. In a country where the issue of race is interwoven into every aspect of society, including religion, education, and recreation, we do see race and skin color. What we do with that information makes the difference. 5) Stop competing with us and get some black female friends. Then you’d have educated yourself, rather than solely relying upon your black partner for information. If you meet some mean black women, don’t apply it to the whole group. I assure you, those women are just as nasty and vicious to other black women.
White Men: 1) Some American white men are such cowards to me, because they are too scared to go against family and society to date black women. Back in the day, when they had free reign, who could keep them from sleeping with/forcing black women and impregnating them? Now all of a sudden, within about 40-50 years, miraculously, white men aren’t interested in black women. BS. I love white European men (not that they’re perfect), because they seem to be so much more comfortable dating black women and more comfortable with race/diversity. Possibly because they are not as uptight as white American men? 2) Stop viewing non-white women as “exotic.” What patronizing, demeaning BS. 3) Stop seeking non-white women, especially black women, to fulfill your sexual fantasy 4) if you are over 45 and are just now making an effort to date black women, I want to know why now? When you were young and in your prime, you didn’t take the risk, so now that you’re old and on your way out, what makes you think some young, fresh, 20, 30-something black woman would want you for anything substantial? 5) Stop being mamas’ boys and being so influenced by your race and family. If you are interested in black women, be man enough to go against your race. I must confess that I really respect white women’s willingness to burn bridges to be with a man of another race.
Comment by Christine — 9/25/2005 @ 3:07 am
By the way, this commentator shows his obvious low level of intelligence about and hatred towards black women. So, you already lose credibility, because you are not writing objectively. Your first mistake in your statement was in assuming 1) hair blowing in the wind is the single definitive factor of beauty for hair, 2) all women want hair that blows in the wind, and 3) there ARE black women who do have natural hair that blows in the wind. You so-called supporting statements to support your stereotypes actually shows that you are not well-informed and definitely not well-traveled. If you were, you’d never made such blatantly erroneous statements. Let me know if I need to define some of the words I use for you.
Each many has different ways of defining beautiful hair. My white boyfriends and even non-black men on the streets, have LOVED my Afros and braids. It has not stopped me from getting any attention. You know why? Because they can see the confidence and beauty I exude (need I define?). The reality is, a woman can have all of those qualities, but without love for herself and self-esteem based upon knowing and loving who she is, rather than the need to compare herself to other women and find them wanting, that external beauty is shallow. Your other mistake was in stereotyping women and putting them in one category. Come on, don’t you think it’s absurd that all we (black women) want is for our hair to “blow in the wind?” You prove that, like so many ignorant men, you don’t know black women. Have you ever asked intelligent, high self-esteemed women if their goal is to have their hair blow in the wind? Let me tell you personally, I don’t. What for? So it can get in the way? Many black women want convenient hairstyles honey, and hair that is “blowing in the wind” isn’t always convenient.
Third point: there are black women whose hair (NATURAL, KINKY hair) blows in the wind. Have you seen black women with dreads and full Afros? Some of them do blow. Not to mention some of the MOST undeniably, HANDS DOWN, gorgeous women on the face of this earth, Ethiopian women, have naturally long hair that blows naturally, since that seems to be your argument. These are women from a civilization that is as ancient as the pyramids. In fact, many historians and the Ethiopians believe they are where the beginning of civilization was. Your ignorance shows in that you probably haven’t been outside of the US or at least to parts of Latin America and Africa where there ARE black women with naturally long hair. And dark men aren’t the experts on beauty. Some dark men are dealing with their own issues of self-hatred and the “desire” to lighten up the race.
In the last ten years, although it’s probably been going on for a while. I’ve noticed this unnatural contempt and jealousy some black men have against black women. You think the hostile and demeaning statements you make about us truly identifies and defines black women. Some of the non-black women you tell these statements to may believe you, because the want to believe negative stuff about black women. But let me tell you that what you say out of your mouth reveals what is in your heart, and there for tells more about who you are. Many black men have issues with black women and are very angry and contemptuous towards us. I think the root of that is hurt. You were rejected by someone or several black women and have never resolved it. Therefore, you go to extreme lengths to belittle us. Look at the difference with interracial dating. Many black men who go to white women, instead of being men, blame black women as their reason. Whereas many black women, including myself, when we date non-black men, don’t down black men like they do us. Does that mean we haven’t been hurt by black men? No. If anything, black women have probably had more problems with wrongdoing from the men than vice versa. Examine yourself.
Comment by Christine — 9/30/2005 @ 5:08 pm
Oh yeah, you dishonor Native Americans with your ignorance. You dare sit and try to talk about black women with all the stuff Native Americans/Indians go through and have gone through. Native Americans have went from a combined population of over missions to less than 500,000 and you are more obsessed with blond hair, rather than the natural beautiful black hair of your people. What self-hatred and ignorance.
Comment by Christine — 9/30/2005 @ 5:15 pm
I meant millions, not missions. And you dare judge with the high homicide, suicide, substance abuse, and domestuc violence rates you have, unfortunately. Yeah African Americans have affirmative action, but they put a hurting on the Native Americans so badly, you pretty much are guaranteed free college eduation and almost any professional position, provided you were able to make it to any point to use the free tuition.
Comment by Christine — 10/2/2005 @ 11:13 am
Hello,
I think it is probably safe to say that we all see features on
all different types of races that we do find attractive. I am
a black female that finds blond hair to be pretty. I am a light
caramel tone so the blond looks nice as an off-tone. Personally
when I talk to females I say that certain colors in their hair
can go nicely with almost any skin tone including dark. It is really about features and skin hues that the person has. There have been
some white people who don’t look good as blondes as well. For
instance, I don’t think that Julia Roberts looks good with blond
hair, I think she looks beautiful as a red head.
So, it is understandable why black people where different colors
in their hair and it is also understandable why white people get
perms and tan all the time. Becuase all these things are beautiful
I think if we all just understand that there are certain traits and features about each race that looks nice than we can all leave which race looks better stereotypes alone. To be honest, I don’t have the
typical curvy butt that most black women have. I wish I did, I
think I look horrible in certain pairs of pants because my butt
is flat. But oh well.
The real truth is men know what they like and most likely and evidently it is something from every race. Asians have beautiful eyes, white people have beautiful hair, black people have beautiful bodies. And the truth is also, if you really think about it, each feature I just named also exists in each race I just named. THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT FEATURES THAT WE ALL HAVE!!! IT IS WONDERFUL, ALLOW IT TO BE SEEN THIS WAY
Women, of all types know you are beautiful. It doesn’t matter
if you are dark, that is beautiful!! If black people were the
majority we probably would be saying that light is unattractive
It is all about mind control.
As women we have to get confident in ourselves and understand that men want confident women and no matter how you look if you make people respect you and think that you look good, they will buy it. All you have to do is exute the confidence.
Comment by Cheronda — 10/4/2005 @ 4:51 am
Slowly but shurely people tend to do what they se being done on tv. For some reason this for of interacial relation is being pushed in the media. Watch comercials and videos lately and tell me its not. Coinsidence I think not. We better learn to love ourselves, and we need to do it quickly. I think someone wants us to become a thing of the past. The relationship between the African American male and female needs healing. This is a case of divide and conquer, and it’s been in the works for a minute. I’m not saying that you can’t love outside of your race. I’m just saying you should stop and ask yourself why you don’t see the beauty in the krinkle of your sisters hair. When did you stop wanting the roundness of our hips and behind, and how could you not want it. When did the beauty, and deep connection of black love stop being beautiful. I for one will never stop loving or wanting black men ever.
Comment by Celeste — 11/8/2005 @ 7:35 pm
Please disregard the typo’s I meant for some reason this kind of interacial relation is being pushed in the media.
Comment by Celeste — 11/8/2005 @ 7:41 pm
I know I am a little late for this post, but I needed to be heard. First,I’d like to say that black women in general are not trying to imitate a white woman. Personally, my husbad is a light-skinned black man with green eyes who don’t find white women attractive at all and he does not like their hair at all. I’ve been with him for over 10 years and I would point out a white woman that I think is attractive and he’ll say, “Their White.” He only finds black women attractive. His brothers are like them either and he has blue eyes and red curly hair and he not bi-racacial and he doesn’tt find white women appealing. So collectively put white people in a category of people attractive is very misconstrued, because it’s all about perception. It’s al ot of black people who say that they do not see attractive white people. Hell, I even heard a whhwhite chick say that she doesn’t really find white men appealing. We have to realize that just because white people are the more popular race, because they control almost everything by killing, stealing in robbing during slavery times that does not mean they control others perceptions about them. I am a black women and I have not ran into one black woman who wanted to be white. I have always identified with black beauty. Everyone has there own perception of what they think is beautiful and you can’t knowck either one. Secondly, a lot of blacks do not view white folks hair as being beautiful. I myself do not and I am not a racist. It just seems to be an assumption especially among white women, especially when they swing their hair all the time. I laugh at this, because I love my hair and those with the ignored assumption that blacks hair only come in one texture kinky are just as ignorant because our hair comes in curly, straight, kinky or wavy. Trust me I have seen it all no chemicals involved. My grandmother has naturally straight hair and she hates it she grew up wearing a wig that was more ethnic looking. Thirdly, when black dye their hair blonde it is not the same color blonde that white women usually have it usually looks more golden is matches with their skin color. So I don’t know why whites think this. I have seen blacks with blonde hair or red hair. Fourth, Black women’s natural hair will grow long as long as they take care of it. My hair use to be done to the middle of my back and my aunt’s hair was done to her behind. Turst me all natural. Fifth, I wish white women would stop thinking that black women are jealous of them especially, when they date black men. Usually a sistah is jealous of another sistah. I think this is blown out of proportion and I’m not denying the fact that there are some sistah’s that hate to see black men with white women and it’s not because their jealous of them. THey percieve white women as being sneaky and liers and throughout history has gotten our black men murdered because of their lies. All white women aren’t like this and I don’t doubt that their are some good white women, hell if one treated my brother better than a sistah than I’ll root for him, but he has a Asian woman who he is very much in love with. I have heard white women down their culture numerous times saying that white babies are ugly, their colorless and my boss said that black is beautiful that’s why we tanned and tried to be like you guys. I heard this comment right from a white woman’s mouth. To be honest, no race is no better than the otehr and again our perceptions of beauty are different, mainly amongst the white culture Jessica Simpson, Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, Nicole Kidman, Pamela Anderson, Brittney Spears and other s are not considered as being beautifl amongst a lot of black people. I love Jessica’s & Julie’s personality, but they are not to alot of blacks. It’ nothing personal, but I do thinkw hat Heather Locklear and Charlize Theron are beautiful women. But it’s not often that I asee a white woman that I see as being beautiful. Again, it’s because our perceptions of beaty is different.
Comment by Neesh — 11/13/2005 @ 11:19 pm
Beauty comes in all shapes, colors and sizes, but I must say that I am in college and in my classes I have not seen one attractive white person, but they think that they are. “God Bless Their Soul” My instructor is the only white woman that is attractive out of about 30 white women, but again this is my perception. Black folks come in about 50 different shades this is a known fact. I have 4 siblings and all of us are different shades of brown. As a matter of fact, my mom is a teacher and she bought a book called, “Different Shades of Black” so that black kids could see the difference. All high yellow folks do not have white in them and my aunty has faced discrimination in Texas because people assume that she’s white because of her skin color. All blacks do not have thick lips and wide noses. This is the image that the media has potrayed through out the years and people should actually study Africa for themselves. Noses and lips come and all shapes and sizes. Just like white people don’t all have long noses. It’s a lot of white men who are dating Asian women so why are white women are so worried about black women. I agree that black women don’t need to be mean to a white woman because of they choose to date a black man. Honestly, who gives a damn. Honestly, I have ran into black men who are disgusted with black men dating white women. Which, is not their business either. People should be able to love who they want to. If black men are feeding white woman with the bull crap that black women are jealous of them, well it’s a shame on them. Our beauties are so unique and different that they can’t even be compared. I have not met one black women jealous of a white women. First, white woman are usually associated with being thin and no behind, compared to a black woman being associated with being shapely or vuluptous with a big behind. Why would a black women want to be white when we are more protected from the sun? Why would they want your hair when we can do almost anything under the sun with our hair and it stays in place? These are the comparisons I’m talking about. I’m definitely not saying that one is better than the other, but we have our own unique qualities that set up apart. Undeniably, I do think that it is some blacks who want to be white, and some whites who want to be black. Hell, look at Michael Jackson. I have met one white girl who I love to death whose from Ireland who said that she always wish she was black growing up, because she loved our skin tone. I told her that I appreciate her admiration, but she should never want to be no one else, because God blessed you to be who you are. God, knows I never ever wanted to be no other color. I thank GOD for blessing me to be a black woman. Black Men stop putting down black women and it’s just as many white women that have children out of wedlock as black women. Look at the adoption agencies. It’s black people, but in general it’s more whites. And more white women that blacks have abortions. It’s nasty black and white women. So to continue putting everyone in the same category is really asinine.
Comment by Neesh — 11/13/2005 @ 11:44 pm
I totally agree with Cristine. Its stupid to let race determine who you want to date. I get tired reading magazine articles, talking about black women don’t have no body to marry because black man are increasingly marrying outside of their race. I’m like, that ain’t no problem for me, because I ain’t limiting myself to a specific race. You sure will be single forever if you live by that narrow-minded idea of staying with your own kind. I’m not saying to stop dating blacks, I’m just saying to be more open-mindeded. People who think like that are just cowards, Its so many wonderful people to meet out there if you just wake up.
As a young girl, I thought I would stay in my own race, because of what other people were saying about being a sellout. And talking about the kids go through hell at school and get made fun of, but hey we all get made fun of. Interracial children are on the rise, just look all around you next time you go shopping. These kids will be fine, they will others like them to accompany them. Anyway, as I got older and met different men of different races, I’ve decided that there is no legitimate reason me to deny myself a chance at a very special relationship with a wondeful person. Sometimes I even forget that my honey isn’t the same race as me. If people would just stop this foolishness of making outrageous judgements of people based on race this world would be a better place. Of Course we will always have those bitter insecure morons out there who will continue to try and make things difficult for the rest of us.
We need to throw race out of the window when it comes to matters of the heart. Just try it you’ll feel like a better person. I admit you need to attracted to your significant other, but your primary reason for pursueing a relationship with the person shouldn’t be exclusively based on looks. Looks change. You need to love that person for their personality and how they treat you as a person.
Comment by ZeZe — 11/22/2005 @ 3:26 am
hi! all i have to say, as a black man sometimes i sit back and see how we down play our own people, by letting everybody else in our affairs, i love my black, nubian queens, black women just motivate my world and art, from the lips to the hips, YEAH! they are white women who are blessed with some of these features.but you ladies (QUEENS) you come natural, no woman on this earth could match your universal greatness, im sick of the media ,and society making it as if we as a people have to live up to their standards of beauty.but it seems we always fall for the tricks(the land for the bible)black women, and men contribute soo much to the world of science, art, culture, an even what we see as physical beauty.but in the end we’re only left with recent bullshit that goes on in our city streets…kinda off subject.but sistas keep your heads up, allllll black men ain’t against ya, i know im not!!
Comment by charles watts — 11/30/2005 @ 9:50 pm
That’s really messed up miss quoting “soul on Ice”
WHITE WOMEN ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, desirable creatures on earth, judging from the way dark men crave them.
A black man loves white women, said Eldridge Cleaver, in Soul On Ice (1968) “Ain’t nothing more beautiful than a white woman’s hair being blown in the wind.”
But a black woman’s hair doesn’t blow in the wind. She only wishes it would.
what Cleaver was getting at in that book as that color brainwashed his mind so much he thought in a savage context, he began to hate who he was as a black man living in america with all the subliminal attacks on his mind and that is whats happening today.
Comment by Alkhalil — 12/8/2005 @ 5:29 am
Race is a social construct, you uneducated fools.
Comment by Carl — 1/8/2006 @ 11:57 pm
I personally am in an interracial relationship and aren’t ignorant about this issue, i believe that men and women are all similar in their actions. The reason some ppl are comfortable with another race is to bring out their stronger points. For example, it has been said that white women are easily manipulated while black women are more stern and stable. Also some italian and spanish men love the hue of a black woman. Its their own personal views into why they date who they date and what race their mate is. Sooner than later, their won’t be black and white or asian or hispanic and so forwardth. We’ll all be mulitcultural, so why not find some one, no matter what race, who’ll love you for who you are and how they make you feel.
Comment by Kim — 1/18/2006 @ 6:04 pm — 1/18/2006 @ 6:04 pm
hi,
wow, i read through all this and some comments make sense
Comment by reena — 1/20/2006 @ 11:24 pm
sorry, i didnt finish , anyway some comments really make sense some are ridiculus. i am indian from india and the issue of lighter skin being better is a big part of our culture. Hair is not a problem , the only thing is the healthier the prettier. in my 29 yrs and i know i am going to get a lot of name calling, like i am ignorant, stupid, racist, etc, . i feel i have to say this. in my 29 yrs i have observed this about most men in all races, INCLUDING the white race. Men, in general want lighter haired, fairer skin, slim,sweet, young, girls. Yes, i know there are the men who are in love with the fat girl, the nerd, the plain jane, the dark girl. but i am talking about men in general. black men i have noticed love indian, asian, hispanic, and esp white women. when i say love , i dont necessarily mean emotional love, true love, u know what i mean. lets go to hispanic men, they also would prefer the lighter hipanic girls, now lets go to indian men, and 90 percent get turned on by light skin. lets go to even oriental men, even they who for the most part are light skinned, the rest is all the way down, read down
like girls with the white porcelin type skin. lets go to the WHITE man,think about it , even in the white race the lighter you are , the prettier, sexier, feminine, dollike, you are. think about it, why would men’s mags have the majority of girls young, blonde, light with pink skin all over? yes, they do have darker girls, but usually it is like one or two dark girls out of like 10 or so white girls. even white girls feel they need to lighten their hair. I am a girl and you might now comment i am some type of lesbian. you can say that and i really dont care because i grew up with a brother and boys around . my brother has friends from many races. doesn’t matter the race they are, the race they most a admire is white. now i do notice that white men and black like oriental girls. think about it, arent oriental girls in some sense whiter than european girls? i have heard guys say how sweet oriental girls are and they , excuse my language, have the prettiest pink down there, i cant say it, you know what i mean? i think all this comes down to this. men want femininity and that means not only on the face but also the body. like my cousin once said “dark girls can be pretty, but their nipples and vaginas are just not flowery , looking like all sweet and pink. I was only 15 when i heard this so i had to go and check my body to even understand what that meant. now , i under stand more. look at most mags believe me , i have seen them. yes , black girls are beautiful, but those are the ones that have the lighter hair, straighter ,smoother hair, caramel, honey, light brown skin, and exceptionally sexy body. look at halle berry and Beyonce! okay, with bodies like that , you dont need much more. Now , imagine beyonce with dark short hair, she would not be that attractive. she is pretty but not more. imagine her with long dark hair, that is still attractive, but look at her now. if you see her from far away, you would think she is white or hispanic. i have so much to say and i ,know i am causing a lot of anger, but being a girl who is on the darker side of brown i know. on the other hand, although my face and arms are dark, my chest ,stomach, and thighs are pretty light. in gym class, i had black guys tell me my skin has the color of honey and they want to lick it. Meanwhile, when i am normally dressed where everything is covered basically cause i am shy about exposing much, i dont get attention. i even had an experience lately, where my husbands cousin who is close to 50 never really looked at me with interest or sexually. for christmas i wore this deep blue shirt that had a low collar. nothing shows unless you are standing at an angle and then you might be able to see the top area of my chest.
this cousin of my husband , was standing at the side\
of me and when i turned to say something, i realized that
he was staring at that area. stupid me thought i must
have spilled something on my shirt like i usually do.
but his gaze was a little odd. i felt like everyone in
the room was looking at me. a second later he says “it
is cold outside, you should close your jacket and he
sort of tugged at my jacket collar. he then said”light
skin can get really rosy when it is cold” and he was
staring at that area. at home i looked to see what he
saw and i then realized that only at a certain angle, u
get a view of my chest, a small part. Ihave had similar
but not this odd experiences where it seems to me
that having light skin is just the most desirable thing
for a man. I have experienced this with my face also
there are rare times when i get a glow and when i put
my usual makeup, i look very bright and atleast 1-2
shades lighter and that is when i get compliments. not
hit on just compliments from other WOMEN.this is why i
agree that no white women really desires to be black
fine, ask that white women to shave her hair and wear
or weave in black hair, ask that white women to really
darken her skin and please dont say white women TAN their
skin. Tanning is a golden, key word here is GOLDEN,
color , that looks healthy, though of course it is not
healthy to tan. The tan that occurs on a white person
IS NOT the color of an indian skin or black skin. you
cannot compare the two. there might be white women who
want bigger lips, but come on how big??Yes, if you have
very thin lips, it is not so great to look at. Does
that mean that white women want huge lips like those on
that girl from GIRLFRIENDS , yu know the one that is
a real estate agent and i believe her name is Toni in the
show. what white women would trade her pinkish body
for a dark one?? oh okay, maybe one that is fat and so
pale with no hope of having any shape whatso ever. the
vagina is the most feminine of all parts , and compare
a white or light skinned girls vagina to that of a dark
girl. I dont just mean a black girl, any dark girl.
which looks more aesthetic?? which looks prettier. I
am a girl and i even feel that the white vagina looks
so much better. in fact , i have seen pictures of white
men’s privates and dark men’s and to me the dark man’s
looks stronger , tougher, only because pink is a pretty
color. but maybe because i am a girl , i actually would
rather touch a pink one if i had to becus atleast it
it looks sweet. i am thinking if i think this way , then
you could imagine what men must feel. i am sure if u
ask most men they may not even realize this, but it is
there , it is in them. Look at my cousin -in-law. U
might say well maybe he was looking becuz he is a man
and he caught a glance at my chest(the upper portion)
but think about what he said. now , of course i have
seen white men look at indian girls who are dark.BUT,
these are middle aged men who are looking at a pretty
faced dark skinned 18-20 something year olds! Put a
blonde next to that same girl and who do you think he
will look at? These same things are true within the
indian society as well i am sure for the black society.
light skinned girls are looked upon with admiration by
both men and women in indian culture. however, i have
met light skinned black girls who say black guys are
always after them and i would be so surprised becuz
they are not so pretty. over the yrs, i realized why
these not so great looking girls get the attention.
i still remember in college there was a very very
light skinned black girl who had a long boyish face, no
pretty eyes, mouth or anything. i remember how black
guys would stare, hoot, come up to ,, even admire her
and i dont care what anyone says , it was the skin.
why is it that not one, i mean not one, indian, hispanic,
white, oriental, guy ever looked or approaced her???
a girl that “hot” , should have guys from all races
admiring. one of my close indian friend , Aisha, was
absolutely beautiful, long thick black hair, light
brown skin, gorgeous eyes with long lashes, and a great
body. I could not walk two blocks with her without hear\
ing a honk, someone coming over to her, guys stopping
there car to stop , etc and guess what they were not
indian all the time. She had white guys, tons, indian,
black, and hispanic men all afte her and this was the
case wherever we went. A real pretty girl gets admired
by all races not just their own because she happens to
be light. Look at Phillipine men, I know a phillipine
nurse who told me all about how in their country ,
the girls who resemble the orientals , with lighter skin
dark black hair , shiny, are considered the more beautiful
what does that tell you. dont you notice it is usually
the men of every race that desire this? yes, there may
have been certain cultures that appreciated dark girls
but honestly, if dark skin is that desirable, it would
be so even to this day, to atleast half of the cultures
around the world. Men, desire light , pink skin.
now, someone said why did white men go after and or rape
black women and now they are not so interested?? I am
a girl but I know this—a man is a man! If he has a
young women or girl in his house , who has no rights as
a human being, no say whatso ever, no man to protect her
no real family around , and especially if he is older
and has been married for years, the fact is this slave
is still a women and when he has his needs what on earth
do you think he will do??? Were these same white men
allowed the freedom to go to homes and find pretty
white virgins to use as their slave??NO , NO, so really,
men who are users, and who have no respect for humanity,
will use people for any use they need, sexual or otherwise
now, i am sure there were some decent, white men who
protected these same women and some who may have wanted
to marry these black girls but you cant say oh, white
men really wanted black girls . no, they did not. they
were HORNY! They wanted to use their power! Most white
men who are like that today are doing this to white girls
usually young girls. why is that so? Where do many white
men go illegally even? what is the real desire of many
men?? they like young girls, white, often oriental for
some. another comment i found annoying is that africans,or
or black women come in all shades of eye color, hair \
color, well so do indian women. their are indian women
who have reddish brown hair naturally, have very light
skin, with pinkish cheeks, who have light brown hair,
and green, or brown eyes. However, this depends on what
part of india they are from but the majority of indians
are dark haired, with brown skin and dark eyes. so even
though green eyes are natural for some indians, that is
not the typical look. so why press the point that
black women have blond hair, blue eyes. Is that the
case 20 %of the time? 30%? I mean i think in every race
their is a main look and that is the look that differentiaes
each culture.something else, i read somewhere here that
why do black women date only black men. to be honest,
most men of all races that i know off from over the
years prefer white, oriental, hispanic, women. so what
does this leave for black women?? I mean, for indian
women this might become a problem also, esp the darker
women. It is only for the women that the color matters
so much. more and more indian men are choosing mates whether it is an arranged marriage or love, that are light. I come from the south of india and in general we are darker than the north indians. I am shocked to see how light the children who are from south india are getting. this is more so herein u.s. and i think it is because the guys who are already here and are settled are choosing very light women and the kids are turning out so light. these children are so light.and i really dont get the fact that someone wrote that white women have said that white babies are ugly. how on earth can babies in general be ugly??? so, black babies are cute but not white babies?? i have seen so many cuties from all races. U might think i am white or i really love white people, actually i have had bad experi with some. but, lets be realistic. white women with big lips, black hair? very dark skin? white women want this??? it annoys me that one comment is made and some nonsense comments are then made to prove apoint. U might hate what i have to say. this is all in my many, many yrs of experience. i myself, have experienced people treating me or looking at me differently becuz of their perception of me. when they see me as light they are interested.
Comment by reshmai — 1/21/2006 @ 12:57 am
I think that black men generally do not like black womem.
If they do like black women, they like them light skinned – not truly representative of black women.
Black women are then left to feel ugly, unattractive and “not enough”, hence some black women wearing weaves and coloured contact lenses.
Until Black men learn to love themselves, they cannot love black women
Comment by rose — 1/24/2006 @ 5:06 pm
I totally agree with Christina regarding this whole issue on this black men/white women dating. There as some black
Comment by Jacyn — 2/14/2006 @ 11:40 pm
You people are really very ignorant. It is obvious that for
the most part you have probably not even ventured to other couontries or seen other cultures. FIrst of all, why do white women crave black
men? I am a black woman (not from America) and I am happy about my heritage, whether my hair blows in the wind or not is insignificant.
The color of my skin and hair, my melanin can withstand all the sun I want,
not to mention we are very well endowed wiuthout having to pump up
our lips or behinds. WHy by the way do white women crave
black men? Their hair does not blow in the wind so it must be
some genetic difference which their white counterpart does not have. Get a
life. Not every one who dies their hair wants to be white. In fact in this
day and age I don’t think anyone other than a redneck would
make a statement like that. Every black person did not come
from Africa and even if we did why did your forefathers spend
their time raping us over and over again. Like the saying goes the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. Black women are the original
women so get over it and move on with your racist ignorant
selves. There are as many black women trying to be white as there are white women trying to be black. If so, the tanning salons would not be so busy, and why the tracks and weaves. If their hair blows in the wind what’s with the weaves. The fake eyes (brown) not blue, we could go on and on.
I
Comment by DIana Greene — 2/16/2006 @ 2:30 pm
Hi, Im a young Irish woman with typically very white skin and green eyes. I find black people very attractive and I think they should celebrate their beautiful and striking looks. Personally I consider black men more sexually attractive then pale skinned men, and black women are very stunning. My current boyfriend is black and beautiful looking. I think black people should appreciate and celebrate their unique looks
Comment by aine — 2/18/2006 @ 1:41 pm
I’ll tell you what. I think all of you are off. I think if you line up all nationalities of women. The most beautiful in each race. It doesn’t matter what kind of man you are predjudice or not. Every woman lined up will be admired. By the way for the person that said black womens hair won’t blow in the wind. After a black woman washes straightens (withthe hot comb) and conditions her hair. It will blow—my sisters blow in the wind, and they are a nice shade of chocolate. Further more after black women wash there hair it gets thick. That’s why it doesn’t blow. Plus since our hair (blacks) has a different texture most black women can’t wash there hair like white women can everyday. Also keeping it from blowing in the wind all the time. And as for the blowing in the wind comment. Its not really all that attractive to see hair blowing in the wind. Its only attractive sometimes, and on the right person. Finally, its funny how people talk about black men and white women. I believe white males were very eager to get the punani from black female slaves whenever they could. Which I’m sure did something to the thought process of the white woman. And being that I’m black–I have a lot of white male friends that check out just as many hot black women as I do white. And I’m sorry for this last comment, but when we are out hunting for women—color is not an option. Even the most vile klansman will sweat a beautiful black woman, wishing he could get his rocks off. It web cites like these that keep hate alive. Embrace your differences. Quit worrying about what color person is dating what color person that
Comment by Louis — 4/3/2006 @ 12:02 am
That issue is obsolete. That’s why more and more mixed race children—not just white and black—are now more prominent. I love all you beautiful ladies—black chocolate, white creampies, hispanic mocha lattes, and you asian flowers. I got to go just thinking about each woman’s beautiful features is driving me crazy.
one love—that’s all of you.
Louis
Comment by Louis — 4/3/2006 @ 12:06 am
I just want to say this: I am from Suriname, South America and it is really very sad to be reading some of these comments. in my country there are so many races Indian, creole, dutch, chinese,indonesian etc. for the most part our people, including myself, are mixed. I am not saying thath my country is better than America , but you could really learn from other countries (for once!!) It is really beautiful to see all these different features and people actually not caring about your ethnic background, because you don’t even know what you are exactly. so what i am trying to say is God created so many different people and everyone is beatiful in their own way and we need to brake these so called “beauty standards” by starting with your own perception of life and beauty so right on Louis !!!
Z from Sranang….
Comment by zaira — 4/12/2006 @ 7:13 pm
blaaaaa blaaaaaaaaa blaaaaaaaaaa….im really mixed (and so were my parents) and I grew up in the Caribbean. I say live and let live. The media has distorted what is beautiful and what isnt. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder…so many people can’t get over their own hang ups they have to find faults in others. LIVE and LET LIVE…what do you care who dates who….its their life…..and WHAT!
Comment by Andre — 4/26/2006 @ 1:53 pm
I am a 17 year old about to graduate from high school and i feel that all of the steroetyping is tearing our culture apart. i am panamanian/indian/black female but since i was born in america i have taken on the black culture. in school, you see alot of the stereotypes lived out due to the popularity of stars, wich now have huge influences on young adults. in this new erra the young are taking over wich makes every steroe type acted upon more, due to the young society needing to feel accepted. i will state that theese are my opinions and don’t mean any harm by them. now, in this age, young males and females precive woman as sex symboles, due to sex being the number one them of advertising wich sad but true. in music videos, i feel that young black woman are shown more in theese videos than other races. i beleive this is to be because our young black females don’t have father figures in there lives, due to the lack of responsible fathers, AND,lack of responsible young ladies who, due to peer preasure, lower there standards to fit in to this stereotype. i feel we are doing this to ourselves. knowing that our youth is falling more into the trap of entertainment, we still allow them to act on these things as if there ok. since it is looked upon now as, the new style , or cool,we over look the fact that the youth is now not looking at life as reality, but as a joy ride as entertainment precives it, or also known as living it up. you now have more young people wanting to make it in the entertainment business than going to college and getting an education. it’s not easy raising children in a single parent home , speeking from experience. my mother raised my sister, brother, and me on her own, with the exception of God and some father figures that didn’t last to long.i thank God for having a strong mother and great church family to help raise me. even though i aslo fell into that trap, i had God, church, and family to help me get back on track, wich some teenagers have nothing ,so instead of making a mistake and learning from it, they tend to end up in a similar situation or, worse. i realize that pear pressure is on the high rise. females are doing any and everything to fit in. due to more single parent house holds, some females and males lack the sterness or attention of a parental figure wich pushes them to look for the attention else were. due to the lack of knowledge and guidence, they end up turning to the enertainment of the world for acceptance and attention. this leads to the attitude of males , feeling that it is ok to disrespect a female, and for a female to degrade herself.due to the stereo type of tv, a white woman is shown as being the suprerior being of females, which makes most young black females feel they have to compete. long hair, skiny, blue or any color eyes besides dark brown, also leading to the white females wanting to also fit in to the steroetype of the sexy females on the videos, dark skin, kinky hair, big lips, big buts, exc. it all evolves around trying to fit in with the trends of the world, witch leads to insicuity of culture, self appearance, instead of looking on the inside. to me it seems that the true scaring of how we precive who we want to be with starts from a young age. it seems like we are not growing up but are still in this non realistic type of lifestyle.our black males are slowly killing themselves off, because once again it is the thing now shown in the entertainment industry. so i feel if we want to heel our insicurities with ourselves, then we need to focus on were it starts from, our youth. if we don’t start telling our young males that it is not ok to disrespect our own women of color, or just any woman period, or telling our young black females that you don’t have to take off your clothes or wear less to be beautiful or be accepted, then we will just dig ourselves deeper and deeper until we destroy ourselves with insicurity, aids,or killing one another. start from the core of the problem, the youth
Comment by tay — 5/21/2006 @ 5:05 am
so im mixed half white half black. my white mother raised me and i had one mixed sisters, 2 whites sisters, and 1 white brother. i date every girl as long as shes hott ;) literally asian, mexican, black, white, everything that ive had the opportunity to try.
Comment by Derek — 5/26/2006 @ 4:03 am